Reducing behaviours that challenge
When children struggle with big feelings, stress, sensory needs, communication difficulties, or managing demands, this can sometimes show through behaviours that challenge at home, school, or in the community.
Help and advice
It is important to remember that children’s behaviour is a form of communication.
What can you do?
Instead of asking:
“What is wrong with this child?”
You can ask:
“What might this child be trying to communicate?”
When behaviour becomes challenging, it is often a sign that a child needs support, connection, understanding, or help developing skills.
The importance of connection
A calm connected relationship helps children feel safe and supported.
Helpful strategies include:
- spending regular quality time together
- listening and validating feelings
- staying calm during difficult moments
- using clear and simple language
- repairing relationships after conflict
- praising effort and positive behaviour
- helping children feel understood before problem-solving
- a regulated adult to help support a regulated child.
When children are overwhelmed, their brains can move into “fight, flight, freeze, or shutdown” mode.
During these moments:
- learning becomes harder
- listening becomes harder
- thinking clearly becomes harder
Children often need:
- calm support
- predictable routines
- co-regulation from adults
- reduced demands
- time and space to recover
Things that can be done daily to improve behaviour
The following can help improve behaviour:
- quality time together
- sleep and routines
- healthy movement and play
- emotional connection
- relaxation and mindfulness
- outdoor activities
Supporting the Reduction of Behaviours that Challenge Workshop
You can also learn and practice strategies at our Supporting the Reduction of Behaviours that Challenge Workshop.
Find out more about this Workshop, including how to book a place.
Watch our video
The 'Supporting the reduction of behaviour that challenges' video looks into the underlying reasons for challenging behaviour in children through a relationship-based lens. It covers:
- common causes of behaviour
- how skills like planning and focus (executive functioning) play a part
- why a strong, kind relationship is the best way to help
- how staying curious and staying connected leads to real change
Watch the 'Supporting the Reduction of Behaviour that Challenges' video on YouTube (external link)
LIFT is a multi-agency collaborative team, funded by North Wales Social Care and Well-being Services Improvement Collaborative.